Recently I attended a seminar on Internet Safety and Your Child, presented by Sergeant Joseph Bermudez, Miami Dade Police Department, Supervisor, Crime Prevention Squad. Sergeant Bermudez formerly served in the US Army and is an 18 year veteran of the police department.

Sergeant Bermudez is a personable and dynamic speaker and presented the material in a non-technical manner to help unsophisticated adults understand the dangers of the Internet. This presentation was for parents only, although he does provide workshops for students.

Sergeant Bermudez said that the Internet can be a “valuable tool for your child and student and it has many benefits.”  As most people know, you child may utilize: search engines, Web sites, Chat Rooms, E-Mail, News groups, forums, bulletin boards, and instant messaging to quickly gain access to information they may need. The Internet can be a valuable tool to help students explore interests, meet other people and share information at their fingertips.

But the Internet can also be dangerous! Your student may encounter: sexual material, sexual predators, alcohol and drug sales, gambling sites, bullying, violence, hate and intolerance directed at them and others.

Sergeant Bermudez said that these dangers are prevalent on the Internet because:

• There is anonymity on the net — Both sides are not identified.
• Kids feel safe. It is easy to initiate contact. Kids believe they are chatting with other kids.
• Predators have a vast number of children as potential victims. (The Internet has billions of users.)
• Predators are sophisticated and smart. It is easy to gather information from and about your youth.
• It is easy to lure and victimize your kid through common interests.
• The Internet is free.

Sergeant Bermudez listed the profile of a “perfect victim” for predators.

Please read the list carefully. Determine the number of risk factors your child may possess.

The top risk factors are:

• Age 11 to 14.
• Little or no parent involvement or supervision.
• No definite bed time. The child is on the Internet frequently after hours.
• No family rules. Parent can be away from home leaving a child without accountability or supervision.
• Student has exclusive use of a computer in private setting.

Predators use a calculated process

Make no mistakes about it sexual predators are smart and sophisticated in their luring practices. If your child is unaware of the process they are potential prey. Predators go through a calculated process to lure your sons and daughters.

Predators start with a “Grooming process.” This is a systematic process to flirt, be cute and lurk. The purpose is to gain an opportunity to send porn and watch for the child’s reaction. If this first step is taken without strong objection the next step is to move the student to a private chat room. When alone in the chat room a deliberate process of information gathering is started mixed with pictures or subtle discussion of explicit sexual material.

The next step is “repeated contact.” Effort is made to get the child’s telephone number or personal contact information. Contact then becomes sexually explicit. From this point forward a strong effort is made to contact the child and establish control over the minor.

Step Three: The predator attempts to arrange a meeting in a place that appears public but is not. (a mall parking lot, a public park, a library, etc.) The predator attempts to play on the child’s weakness, and make the child feel comfortable. The victim is lead to believe that the meeting is private, safe and confidential but the intent of the predator is sexual battery.

Not a pretty scenario is it!

Parental Supervision is the key!

Parents must “parent.” Be there for your children. Share your values, set rules and standards and have open discussions. Teach your kids to look critically at their own Internet activity and to use a keen eye for their safety and protection. Establish time limits. You can justify limits by the any means necessary. Try to get your kids to stop using the phrase, “It doesn’t matter.” Everything matters. This matters.

Follow the following safety tips.

Place your child’s computer in a central location in the home. Learn about the people who (and why) your children maybe communicating with. Become familiar with search engines, browsers and software used by your kids. Know how to review search history and when and where history was deleted.

Do not rely on a system, software or other people to filter information your child sees or comes into contact with. Be proactive when protecting your kids. Advise your children that if they are sexually solicited to tell you, and you promise not to freak out. Then don’t freak out.

Be aware of computer restrictions or lack thereof at other locations: school, library, friend’s homes, cell phones, I-Pods, etc. If your son or daughter says parents will be at their friend’s home…check. Go over. Yes it is alright.

LOOK FOR WARNING SIGNS LIKE A CHANGE IN YOUR STUDENT’S BEHAVIOR.

Your student’s personal security and safety is a MUST.

Tell your child never to:

• Give our personal information over the Internet. Never arrange personal meetings, especially alone.
• Never respond to offensive or explicit sexual messages.
• Teach them to report any message that is sexual or harassing in nature.

Suggestions for parents, teachers, and mentors.

Use parental controls on all software, computers and browsers.  Set up bookmarks. Review your student’s history or logs. Search beyond his home page. Check their use of public computers. Use computers together with your child.

To start:

Learn the Top 20 Internet acronyms every parent needs to know. They are listed below for your convenience. To you, your child may be communicating in a new and foreign language, it is necessary to learn the language if you are to monitor their behavior. You might be shocked to learn what some of the acronyms mean.

Top 20 Internet Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know:

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PIR – Parent In Room

P911 –Parent Alert

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PAL – Parents Are Listening

ASL – Age/Sex/Location

MorF –Male or Female

SorG – Straight or Gay

LMIRL – Lets Meet in Real Life

KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

IWSN – I Want Sex Now
NIFOC – Nude In Front Of Computer
GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
ADR or addy — Address

WYCM – Will You Call Me
KFY – Kiss For You
MOOS –Member(s) Of the Opposite Sex

MOSS or MOTSS – Member(s) Of the Same Sex

NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That

Teen-Favored Acronyms:

A/S/L – Age, Sex, Location

BF/GF – Boyfriend, Girlfriend

BRB – Be Right Back

CD9—Code 9, means parents around

GNOC – Get Naked on Cam (Webcam)

G2G – Got to go

IDK – I Don’t Know

(L)MIRL – (Lets) Meet in Real Life

LOL – Laugh out Loud

MorF –Male or Female

MOS – Mom Over Shoulder

NIFOC — Nude In Front Of Computer

NooB – Often an insult to somebody who doesn’t know much about something

NMU – Not Much, You?

P911 – Parent Emergency

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PIR – Parent In Room

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PRON – Porn

PRW – Parents are watching

S2R – Send to receive (pictures)

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

Warez – Pirated software

W/E — Whatever

Read the following Internet Safety Resource list provided by the Miami-Dade Police Department Crime Prevention Squad. The web sites for Data mining are an asset to determine the locations on the internet your student visits.

Internet Safety Hardware is designed to limit your student’s access to certain web sites. Remember however that your kids probably have access to many other computers and cell phones.

Websites for Online Safety

• www.netsmartz.org
• www.isafe.org
• www.necmec.org
• www.cybertipline.com
• www.bytecrime.org
• www.childrenseducationalnetwork.com

Websites for Data Mining

• www.google.com
• www.ask.com
• www.yahoo.com
• www.msn.com
• www.alltheweb.com
• www.facebook.com
• www.myspace.com

Internet Safety Software

• Spector Pro
• Netnanny
• CYBERsitter
• CyberPatrol
• Cyber Snoop
• Cyber Sentinel
• SafeKeeper
• Child Safe

Cyber Crimes Toll-Free Tip Line

1800-843-5678

Contact Information: Sergeant Joseph Bermudez — Miami-Dade Police Department—Community and Intergovernmental Affairs Bureau Crime Prevention Squad –9105 NW 25^th Street, Rm 1044 Doral, FL 33172 – 305-471-1745

Email: JBermudez@mdpd.com

The service provided by Sergeant Bermudez is must see material by every parent. My experience is that the Internet is a cesspool of miss-information, half truths and downright lies. I ask you, how many emails do you check to determine if the information you receive is accurate or factual.  I verify my e-mails and almost 80% of forwarded e-mail I receive are not true, nor accurate, nor useful. In fact most are garbage and a waste of time.

I use www.Snopes.com, www.TruthorFiction.com and www.FactCheck.com to verify the information in the emails I receive. You might try these yourself before you forward mail.

The Internet can be an exiting tool to help your child achieve but it can also be is a dangerous place for our kids. Sergeant Bermudez has taught us how dangerous it can be and what can be done to protect our kids.

Parents your job is to parent. This means to lead, be out front, pre-empting problems and issues. Parents are the CEO’s of the family. Do everything you can to protect and defend your kids. If necessary prohibit your kid from the internet for a period of time. This will get their attention and show them that you mean business.

Please do not mistake being a “nice parent” for being an “effective parent.

Take the necessary hard steps to protect your child.

Be a Parent!

Your thoughtful comments as usual are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan