Recently I attended a seminar on Internet Safety and Your Child, presented by Sergeant Joseph Bermudez, Miami Dade Police Department, Supervisor, Crime Prevention Squad. Sergeant Bermudez formerly served in the US Army and is an 18 year veteran of the police department.

Sergeant Bermudez is a personable and dynamic speaker and presented the material in a non-technical manner to help unsophisticated adults understand the dangers of the Internet. This presentation was for parents only, although he does provide workshops for students.

Sergeant Bermudez said that the Internet can be a “valuable tool for your child and student and it has many benefits.”  As most people know, you child may utilize: search engines, Web sites, Chat Rooms, E-Mail, News groups, forums, bulletin boards, and instant messaging to quickly gain access to information they may need. The Internet can be a valuable tool to help students explore interests, meet other people and share information at their fingertips.

But the Internet can also be dangerous! Your student may encounter: sexual material, sexual predators, alcohol and drug sales, gambling sites, bullying, violence, hate and intolerance directed at them and others.

Sergeant Bermudez said that these dangers are prevalent on the Internet because:

• There is anonymity on the net — Both sides are not identified.
• Kids feel safe. It is easy to initiate contact. Kids believe they are chatting with other kids.
• Predators have a vast number of children as potential victims. (The Internet has billions of users.)
• Predators are sophisticated and smart. It is easy to gather information from and about your youth.
• It is easy to lure and victimize your kid through common interests.
• The Internet is free.

Sergeant Bermudez listed the profile of a “perfect victim” for predators.

Please read the list carefully. Determine the number of risk factors your child may possess.

The top risk factors are:

• Age 11 to 14.
• Little or no parent involvement or supervision.
• No definite bed time. The child is on the Internet frequently after hours.
• No family rules. Parent can be away from home leaving a child without accountability or supervision.
• Student has exclusive use of a computer in private setting.

Predators use a calculated process

Make no mistakes about it sexual predators are smart and sophisticated in their luring practices. If your child is unaware of the process they are potential prey. Predators go through a calculated process to lure your sons and daughters.

Predators start with a “Grooming process.” This is a systematic process to flirt, be cute and lurk. The purpose is to gain an opportunity to send porn and watch for the child’s reaction. If this first step is taken without strong objection the next step is to move the student to a private chat room. When alone in the chat room a deliberate process of information gathering is started mixed with pictures or subtle discussion of explicit sexual material.

The next step is “repeated contact.” Effort is made to get the child’s telephone number or personal contact information. Contact then becomes sexually explicit. From this point forward a strong effort is made to contact the child and establish control over the minor.

Step Three: The predator attempts to arrange a meeting in a place that appears public but is not. (a mall parking lot, a public park, a library, etc.) The predator attempts to play on the child’s weakness, and make the child feel comfortable. The victim is lead to believe that the meeting is private, safe and confidential but the intent of the predator is sexual battery.

Not a pretty scenario is it!

Parental Supervision is the key!

Parents must “parent.” Be there for your children. Share your values, set rules and standards and have open discussions. Teach your kids to look critically at their own Internet activity and to use a keen eye for their safety and protection. Establish time limits. You can justify limits by the any means necessary. Try to get your kids to stop using the phrase, “It doesn’t matter.” Everything matters. This matters.

Follow the following safety tips.

Place your child’s computer in a central location in the home. Learn about the people who (and why) your children maybe communicating with. Become familiar with search engines, browsers and software used by your kids. Know how to review search history and when and where history was deleted.

Do not rely on a system, software or other people to filter information your child sees or comes into contact with. Be proactive when protecting your kids. Advise your children that if they are sexually solicited to tell you, and you promise not to freak out. Then don’t freak out.

Be aware of computer restrictions or lack thereof at other locations: school, library, friend’s homes, cell phones, I-Pods, etc. If your son or daughter says parents will be at their friend’s home…check. Go over. Yes it is alright.

LOOK FOR WARNING SIGNS LIKE A CHANGE IN YOUR STUDENT’S BEHAVIOR.

Your student’s personal security and safety is a MUST.

Tell your child never to:

• Give our personal information over the Internet. Never arrange personal meetings, especially alone.
• Never respond to offensive or explicit sexual messages.
• Teach them to report any message that is sexual or harassing in nature.

Suggestions for parents, teachers, and mentors.

Use parental controls on all software, computers and browsers.  Set up bookmarks. Review your student’s history or logs. Search beyond his home page. Check their use of public computers. Use computers together with your child.

To start:

Learn the Top 20 Internet acronyms every parent needs to know. They are listed below for your convenience. To you, your child may be communicating in a new and foreign language, it is necessary to learn the language if you are to monitor their behavior. You might be shocked to learn what some of the acronyms mean.

Top 20 Internet Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know:

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PIR – Parent In Room

P911 –Parent Alert

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PAL – Parents Are Listening

ASL – Age/Sex/Location

MorF –Male or Female

SorG – Straight or Gay

LMIRL – Lets Meet in Real Life

KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

IWSN – I Want Sex Now
NIFOC – Nude In Front Of Computer
GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
ADR or addy — Address

WYCM – Will You Call Me
KFY – Kiss For You
MOOS –Member(s) Of the Opposite Sex

MOSS or MOTSS – Member(s) Of the Same Sex

NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That

Teen-Favored Acronyms:

A/S/L – Age, Sex, Location

BF/GF – Boyfriend, Girlfriend

BRB – Be Right Back

CD9—Code 9, means parents around

GNOC – Get Naked on Cam (Webcam)

G2G – Got to go

IDK – I Don’t Know

(L)MIRL – (Lets) Meet in Real Life

LOL – Laugh out Loud

MorF –Male or Female

MOS – Mom Over Shoulder

NIFOC — Nude In Front Of Computer

NooB – Often an insult to somebody who doesn’t know much about something

NMU – Not Much, You?

P911 – Parent Emergency

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PIR – Parent In Room

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PRON – Porn

PRW – Parents are watching

S2R – Send to receive (pictures)

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

Warez – Pirated software

W/E — Whatever

Read the following Internet Safety Resource list provided by the Miami-Dade Police Department Crime Prevention Squad. The web sites for Data mining are an asset to determine the locations on the internet your student visits.

Internet Safety Hardware is designed to limit your student’s access to certain web sites. Remember however that your kids probably have access to many other computers and cell phones.

Websites for Online Safety

• www.netsmartz.org
• www.isafe.org
• www.necmec.org
• www.cybertipline.com
• www.bytecrime.org
• www.childrenseducationalnetwork.com

Websites for Data Mining

• www.google.com
• www.ask.com
• www.yahoo.com
• www.msn.com
• www.alltheweb.com
• www.facebook.com
• www.myspace.com

Internet Safety Software

• Spector Pro
• Netnanny
• CYBERsitter
• CyberPatrol
• Cyber Snoop
• Cyber Sentinel
• SafeKeeper
• Child Safe

Cyber Crimes Toll-Free Tip Line

1800-843-5678

Contact Information: Sergeant Joseph Bermudez — Miami-Dade Police Department—Community and Intergovernmental Affairs Bureau Crime Prevention Squad –9105 NW 25^th Street, Rm 1044 Doral, FL 33172 – 305-471-1745

Email: JBermudez@mdpd.com

The service provided by Sergeant Bermudez is must see material by every parent. My experience is that the Internet is a cesspool of miss-information, half truths and downright lies. I ask you, how many emails do you check to determine if the information you receive is accurate or factual.  I verify my e-mails and almost 80% of forwarded e-mail I receive are not true, nor accurate, nor useful. In fact most are garbage and a waste of time.

I use www.Snopes.com, www.TruthorFiction.com and www.FactCheck.com to verify the information in the emails I receive. You might try these yourself before you forward mail.

The Internet can be an exiting tool to help your child achieve but it can also be is a dangerous place for our kids. Sergeant Bermudez has taught us how dangerous it can be and what can be done to protect our kids.

Parents your job is to parent. This means to lead, be out front, pre-empting problems and issues. Parents are the CEO’s of the family. Do everything you can to protect and defend your kids. If necessary prohibit your kid from the internet for a period of time. This will get their attention and show them that you mean business.

Please do not mistake being a “nice parent” for being an “effective parent.

Take the necessary hard steps to protect your child.

Be a Parent!

Your thoughtful comments as usual are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan

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Summer is officially here. It’s graduation time once again.  My niece just graduated last week and is on her way to college. We could not be prouder.

Next year she will be a freshman and before you know it, she will be off into the world.  This blog is for her.  Well, actually it is for everyone. Some of us need this advice more than others.

I woke up early Sunday morning, and as always watched the CBS Sunday Morning news show.  For some reason, they always have feel good news. I am not a news junky, so I may be behind on this one. Please, let me know if this is their program format. So, today was no different.

This is Ben Steins’ June 13, 2010, commentary to the graduating classes.  I thought everyone would benefit from Ben and his shrink’s advice.  Thanks, Ben. Congratulations, Carla.

Watch it now, here.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/13/sunday/main6577542.shtml

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Gen. David Petraeus

Whether you like it or not, General Petraeus was the successful architect and implementer of “The Surge” strategy in Iraq.  With more than 30 years of service in the United States Army, David Petraeus knows his share about leadership.

The 57-year-old army officer and West Point graduate is now in charge of US central Command and some are saying he might make a bid for the Presidency.  US central Command is located in Tampa, Fl. and is responsible for both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Brian O’Keefe of Fortune Magazine interviewed Gen. David Petraeus for the March 2010 Leadership Issue.  He asked him four simple questions. The entire article, including questions and answers is less than 500 words.

I have further boiled it down to its most basic parts.

I have not only omitted Mr. Brian O’Keefe’s questions but have abridged the general’s responses. I have used as few words as possible to emphasize the meaning. Please click here for a link to the entire article.

Key to leadership success:

Big Ideas, be a North Star to guide people.

Your inner core qualities:

Be 100% brutally honest and then learn and adapt.

Traits to make a great leader:

Judgment

Physical fitness

Mental toughness

Integrity

Professional competence

Any role models:

Ulysses S Grant

http://money.cnn.com/2010/03/04/news/companies/petraeus_leadership.fortune/index.htm

Remember keep it simple.

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Several days ago I attended a seminar at Baptist Hospital, Miami, Florida. The workshop, entitled Raising Boys, was conducted by Gary X. Lancelotta PhD. and is part of the Parenting Educational Series.  Dr. Lancelotta was presenting on behalf of and represents the Child Psychology Associates of Miami.

Dr. Lancelotta is a charismatic speaker with a warm and caring demeanor. He kept the audience captivated by telling personal stories about raising his own son and also about his own upbringing.  He was raised in a dynamic family with a brother and five sisters. As you can imagine his stories were both funny and enlightening.

Among the many important child raising tips and boy specific strategies he discussed and the most important for parents to remember included:

• There is no one-way to parent.
• Be consistent, set structure and establish a foundation of accepted conduct.
• Boys need male role models.
• Single woman parents need to find a positive male role model for their boys.
• Parents are powerful influences on their children.
• Becoming a “real man” is about developing character.

In his discussion on raising boys, Dr Lancelotta said parents should stand for: values, standards, and rules, and then parents should monitor and impose limits.

Values: Kids need to now where parents stand on all types of media. To include, TV, video game violence, computer activities, Texting, Cell-phone use, etc.

Set Standards and Rules: Tell your child who is and what types of activities are allowed in your home.

Monitor and Check on your kids: Their friends, activities, games, video activities, use of electronic devices. Yes, it is your job. No you are not spying…you are parenting.

Set limits:

• Teach your kids the importance of delayed gratification.
• Teach your kids how to handle disappointments, frustration and anger.
• Teach your kids that there are costs and consequences to their activities. Yes, what they do matters.

Parents should not be afraid to get evolved in societal or tough issues:

• Sex education.
• Your child’s friends.
• Talk to your children and talk to their friends.

Parents should set up a positive home environment to:

• Counteract the negative forces of violence in, TV, films, video games, sports, society, etc.

The bottom line is parents need to understand and monitor the influence that the entertainment media has on their boys behavior to include unhealthy stereotypical behavior, violence, disrespect for woman and girls, aggression in sports, and the media’s role in forming cultural attitudes.

Dr. Lancelotta warned that a new phenomenon is being seen in children called “screen or media (video) addiction” and for parent’s to be watchful.

He recommends the following for parent resources:

Books:

Raising Boys, by Steve Biddulph, www.tenspeed.com

Raising Confident Boys, by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, www.dacapopress.com

The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Boys, by Cheryl L. Erwin, www.adamsmedia.com

Websites and Videos:

www.allinfoaboutraisingboys.com

Tough Guise / Media Education Foundation www.mediaed.org

Raising Cain: Exploring the Inner Lives of America’s Boys / PBS Home Video  www.pbs.org

An extensive annotated bibliography is available from MediaScope.

Dr. Lancelotta’s seminar was sponsored by a very prestigious teaching hospital and I can see why. His presentation was excellent, and the information important and timely. Contact information for Dr. Gary X. Lancelotta is below.

Dr. Gary X. Lancelotta

7301 SW 57 Ct, Suite 555,

South Miami, Florida, 33143

305 668 7988

GXLancelot@aol.com

Your thoughtful comments about raising boys and girls, as always are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan

Last week, I attended the ASTD Utah luncheon and professional development seminar at the Marriot Salt Lake. The guest speaker was Rob and Dan Chipman from BizVision and the topic was how to train Millennial.

Rob and Dan are a father and son team that work very well together.   Rob Chipman is the founder and CEO of BizVision, a provider of video-powered online training, professional education and communications for businesses and other organizations.

Dan is both a researcher at the firm and a very knowledgeable “Millennial” himself. Both offered powerful insights at what make the next generation tick.  They presented research that shows how to best train, what values they embrace, and characteristics that make up the core of the group.

If you are not familiar, a Millennial is the next generation. To be more specific, they are the generation after “Gen X.” They are the age group that is just starting to graduate college and join the work force.

Why is this important to you?  The Millennials comprise the largest generational group in the US workforce.  At present, according to Rob Chipman and the BizVision team “there are approximately 27 million Millennials working and that number is due to grow to a maximum of approximately 80 million.”

I took note of the five most important points when leading, training or supervising a Millennial. Take these into consideration and make them a part of your overall leadership persona, especially when dealing with the next generation.

The medium is the message: How many PowerPoint presentations have you sat through? Exactly. Try to keep things dynamic.  Be engaging and try to modify the means of communication for training, policies or memorandums. Have an HR policy change: Try making a YouTube video describing the change and send out a link via face book, twitter or email.

Keep it short: Think You-tube and Google. Try not to make any training or lessons longer than 10 minutes.  Get to the point and get it over with.  For example: No one wants to read an entire photography manual to take a few photos with their new camera, they want to find the information important to them to go take the photos.

Solicit input: Always ask to see if there is a different way of doing something and receive constructive criticism. Millenniums might have a better, faster or cheaper way of doing a task.  Give them the reigns.  Let them make up their own training videos or presentations, so that the message will suit the intended audience the best.

Message, outcomes or tasks must make sense: Millenniums must see worth in a task.  Busy work is definitely a “no-no” when working with the next generation.  Also, messages must be congruent and make sense from top to bottom. For example: Just think about BP and their environmental stance or the “Big Three” automakers flying their private jets to Washington with their hats in their hands.

Do not let technology become the master: Remember the old adage garbage-in and garbage-out. Do not let email, Facebook and other time-savers turn into time-wasters. If you have trouble with technology running your life, set a scheduled time to check e-mail once or twice a day or reply only to the important items.  Make tech work for you.

Overall, the ASTD seminar and luncheon was well worth the entry fee.  While there, I learned the ASTD Utah chapter was nationally recognized as one of the premier chapters in the country.  I could see why. The meeting went on without a hitch, the presentation was excellent and the information presented was current and poignant.

If you would like to attend the next meeting, all are welcomed. They meet the third Thursday once a month, plus have special events and trainings throughout the year.

For more info on either organization, please contact:

BizVision Headquarters
7050 Union Park Center, 6th Floor
Salt Lake City, UT 84047
Toll Free: (800) 811-0230
Phone: (801) 562-2252
Fax: (801) 562-1773

http://www.bizvision.com/

ASTD Utah Chapter

PO Box 271491

Salt lake City, Utah 84127-1491

Phone: 801-322-5709

http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/Utah/Pages/default.aspx

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Zack Thomas

Socrates said “It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”

Miami Dolphin middle linebacker Zach Thomas retired today. He was a self described “slow, too short guy from a small town in Texas.”  But he was great guy, loved to play football and all he needed was a chance.

What did he accomplish with that chance? He earned seven Pro Bowl selections; five times he made the All-pro first team. For ten seasons he led the Dolphin defense in tackles; he was the team MVP twice and won the team’s leadership award three times.

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald said, “It takes more than talent, to make you a thoroughly respected, admired and even beloved figure with fans. Thomas is all of that plus more.”

In the beginning, Thomas, who was drafted late in the fifth round out of Texas Tech, had anxiety about not making the team. It was partly the insecurities that made him the player he was.  He constantly had to “out work” and “out want” the other guys that were bigger, faster and more naturally gifted.

Thomas said in his retirement speech that he cherished every moment he played. Even when he was sore and tired he resisted the mentality of wishing that he wasn’t playing football.  He said “he kept reminding himself of the many people that would have gladly changed places with him.”

Congratulations and best wishes to Zach Thomas and his family.  Greg Cote said it best, “He was the little guy who could, the embodiment of the blue collar man who came to work with a lunch pale and a hammer and built himself a career on effort and sweat.”

Pundits are already saying that Zach Thomas may not make it into the NFL Football Hall of Fame. But in twelve outstanding years with the Dolphins (fourteen total in the NFL) he never once embarrassed the team. His record on and off the field was clean. He is a role model to thousands men, women, kids and to all who know him.

When he was asked about his future and the hall of fame, he laughed and said that he will pour his time and energy into being a better “family man, husband and father” and then pointed to his family.

In five years sportswriters will have a chance to select a great player, and a good man, Zach Thomas, into the Football Hall of Fame. Maybe, five years from now, a player who possesses character, integrity, honor and respectability as well as football talent may be welcomed into Canton.

Maybe not, maybe nothing will change, and we will still be talking about the same story we all know too well.

Your comments are always welcome.

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Dr. John Morgan

One of the best-kept secrets in the Great Salt Lake valley is the great lake itself.  Due to its relative seclusion, lack of fishermen and their associated powerboats, the lake is one of the best spots in all of Utah to sail.

I was invited by Capt. JR Reynolds to come enjoy the day, go for a sail on his new boat and witness how he teaches leadership and teamwork with his sailboat the “Nauti Girl.”

I am always interested in how people teach leadership.  It is a great learning experience to see how people teach with different types of platforms. Plus, it was an awesome day for sailing, mild temperatures, mostly sunny skies and light winds.

The marina is located about 15 miles west of downtown Salt Lake City. It is a short drive from the airport, downtown or Park City. Ten minutes is all it takes from the airport, or give yourself about 40 minutes if you are coming from the Park City area.

It is an easy, scenic drive. Simply take I-80 west to the Saltaire exit, go north and follow the signs to the marina.

There, you will find Capt. JR Reynolds, the “Nauti Girl,” and the Great Salt Lake Experience. Not to mention some of the best sailing in the valley.

Captain JR has over 30 years experience. He has been sailing on the Great Salt Lake since moving to Utah in 1990.  He is licensed with the State of Utah, and has certifications from several organizations including the Power Squadron.

His sailboat, the “Nauti Girl”, a Catalina 270, is the platform the GSLE uses for teambuilding, leadership, as well as the usual cruising, sail lessons, dinner and sunset tours.

Capt. Reynolds demonstrated how he teaches leadership and teambuilding while we were on the lake that day. Teamwork is fairly obvious to show aboard a sailboat as JR explained, “You can either work as a team and sail, or you’re dead in the water.”

Teams learn basic sailing skills while rotating through all the different shipboard roles in which they will have to give and take orders and rely on each other during different maneuvers and exercises.

JR showed me the four basic crew responsibilities on board: head sail management, main sail management, helmsman and lookout.  When you bring your clients or students, each of them will have the opportunity to experience all four positions and many opportunities to work both as a team and as the leader.

Captain Reynolds is available to take you and your party out on the Great Salt Lake for a 4-hour cruise, day-trips, sunset cruises and lessons.

Go to their website, you can find more information there. Here is the contact information:

Capt JR Reynolds

1.801.898.0270

1.866.SAILOR1

jr@ GreatSaltLakeExperience.org

http://greatsaltlakeexperience.org/home

I’ll cut strait to the chase the trip was all worth it. I can highly recommend the entire experience.  The sailing lesson, the experience and the leadership and teamwork lessons were all first rate.

If you are a coach, mentor, and teacher or just want to test or hone your leadership skills don’t hesitate to call JR and schedule a cruise.  Thanks JR for the trip; I hope to see you out soon.

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Old man and his donkey in Greece

I received one of those spam, junk, chain letter emails from a friend the other day. The sad thing, I opened it and read it. Even sadder, it got me thinking.

The saddest part of all, it actually hit home.

Well, what does the story have to do with leadership?

Everything and nothing. But, I made myself a promise to do more of both. I hope you do the same.

So, here is what I am going to do. At the end of the letter, I added a call to action. I am giving you two choices.

Read. Enjoy. Choose

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town.  The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, “What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.” So they then decided they’d both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.  So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well…

Kiss your ass goodbye!

Have A Nice Day And
Be Careful With Your Donkey

So, here they are:

Choice 1: If you like the blog and the information contained in the website, please forward the e-mail you received to at lease two people. Not a hard task by any means.

Choice 2: If you do not like or enjoy the information you receive, go back to the original email and get off the email list. That’s right, an even simpler task, unsubscribe. You can’t please ‘em all, now can you?

Which one are you going to choose?

*Oh yeah, If you are the guy who wrote this pearl of wisdom or own the copy write, please don’t have your lawyer sue me. Just drop me a note or leave a comment. Don’t worry I’ll give you proper credit. Geese, it’s just spam anyway. And, by the way, thanks to the guy who sent it to me.

Love, Rick

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