Summer is officially here. It’s graduation time once again.  My niece just graduated last week and is on her way to college. We could not be prouder.

Next year she will be a freshman and before you know it, she will be off into the world.  This blog is for her.  Well, actually it is for everyone. Some of us need this advice more than others.

I woke up early Sunday morning, and as always watched the CBS Sunday Morning news show.  For some reason, they always have feel good news. I am not a news junky, so I may be behind on this one. Please, let me know if this is their program format. So, today was no different.

This is Ben Steins’ June 13, 2010, commentary to the graduating classes.  I thought everyone would benefit from Ben and his shrink’s advice.  Thanks, Ben. Congratulations, Carla.

Watch it now, here.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/13/sunday/main6577542.shtml

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Gen. David Petraeus

Whether you like it or not, General Petraeus was the successful architect and implementer of “The Surge” strategy in Iraq.  With more than 30 years of service in the United States Army, David Petraeus knows his share about leadership.

The 57-year-old army officer and West Point graduate is now in charge of US central Command and some are saying he might make a bid for the Presidency.  US central Command is located in Tampa, Fl. and is responsible for both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Brian O’Keefe of Fortune Magazine interviewed Gen. David Petraeus for the March 2010 Leadership Issue.  He asked him four simple questions. The entire article, including questions and answers is less than 500 words.

I have further boiled it down to its most basic parts.

I have not only omitted Mr. Brian O’Keefe’s questions but have abridged the general’s responses. I have used as few words as possible to emphasize the meaning. Please click here for a link to the entire article.

Key to leadership success:

Big Ideas, be a North Star to guide people.

Your inner core qualities:

Be 100% brutally honest and then learn and adapt.

Traits to make a great leader:

Judgment

Physical fitness

Mental toughness

Integrity

Professional competence

Any role models:

Ulysses S Grant

http://money.cnn.com/2010/03/04/news/companies/petraeus_leadership.fortune/index.htm

Remember keep it simple.

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Several days ago I attended a seminar at Baptist Hospital, Miami, Florida. The workshop, entitled Raising Boys, was conducted by Gary X. Lancelotta PhD. and is part of the Parenting Educational Series.  Dr. Lancelotta was presenting on behalf of and represents the Child Psychology Associates of Miami.

Dr. Lancelotta is a charismatic speaker with a warm and caring demeanor. He kept the audience captivated by telling personal stories about raising his own son and also about his own upbringing.  He was raised in a dynamic family with a brother and five sisters. As you can imagine his stories were both funny and enlightening.

Among the many important child raising tips and boy specific strategies he discussed and the most important for parents to remember included:

• There is no one-way to parent.
• Be consistent, set structure and establish a foundation of accepted conduct.
• Boys need male role models.
• Single woman parents need to find a positive male role model for their boys.
• Parents are powerful influences on their children.
• Becoming a “real man” is about developing character.

In his discussion on raising boys, Dr Lancelotta said parents should stand for: values, standards, and rules, and then parents should monitor and impose limits.

Values: Kids need to now where parents stand on all types of media. To include, TV, video game violence, computer activities, Texting, Cell-phone use, etc.

Set Standards and Rules: Tell your child who is and what types of activities are allowed in your home.

Monitor and Check on your kids: Their friends, activities, games, video activities, use of electronic devices. Yes, it is your job. No you are not spying…you are parenting.

Set limits:

• Teach your kids the importance of delayed gratification.
• Teach your kids how to handle disappointments, frustration and anger.
• Teach your kids that there are costs and consequences to their activities. Yes, what they do matters.

Parents should not be afraid to get evolved in societal or tough issues:

• Sex education.
• Your child’s friends.
• Talk to your children and talk to their friends.

Parents should set up a positive home environment to:

• Counteract the negative forces of violence in, TV, films, video games, sports, society, etc.

The bottom line is parents need to understand and monitor the influence that the entertainment media has on their boys behavior to include unhealthy stereotypical behavior, violence, disrespect for woman and girls, aggression in sports, and the media’s role in forming cultural attitudes.

Dr. Lancelotta warned that a new phenomenon is being seen in children called “screen or media (video) addiction” and for parent’s to be watchful.

He recommends the following for parent resources:

Books:

Raising Boys, by Steve Biddulph, www.tenspeed.com

Raising Confident Boys, by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, www.dacapopress.com

The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Boys, by Cheryl L. Erwin, www.adamsmedia.com

Websites and Videos:

www.allinfoaboutraisingboys.com

Tough Guise / Media Education Foundation www.mediaed.org

Raising Cain: Exploring the Inner Lives of America’s Boys / PBS Home Video  www.pbs.org

An extensive annotated bibliography is available from MediaScope.

Dr. Lancelotta’s seminar was sponsored by a very prestigious teaching hospital and I can see why. His presentation was excellent, and the information important and timely. Contact information for Dr. Gary X. Lancelotta is below.

Dr. Gary X. Lancelotta

7301 SW 57 Ct, Suite 555,

South Miami, Florida, 33143

305 668 7988

GXLancelot@aol.com

Your thoughtful comments about raising boys and girls, as always are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan

Last week, I attended the ASTD Utah luncheon and professional development seminar at the Marriot Salt Lake. The guest speaker was Rob and Dan Chipman from BizVision and the topic was how to train Millennial.

Rob and Dan are a father and son team that work very well together.   Rob Chipman is the founder and CEO of BizVision, a provider of video-powered online training, professional education and communications for businesses and other organizations.

Dan is both a researcher at the firm and a very knowledgeable “Millennial” himself. Both offered powerful insights at what make the next generation tick.  They presented research that shows how to best train, what values they embrace, and characteristics that make up the core of the group.

If you are not familiar, a Millennial is the next generation. To be more specific, they are the generation after “Gen X.” They are the age group that is just starting to graduate college and join the work force.

Why is this important to you?  The Millennials comprise the largest generational group in the US workforce.  At present, according to Rob Chipman and the BizVision team “there are approximately 27 million Millennials working and that number is due to grow to a maximum of approximately 80 million.”

I took note of the five most important points when leading, training or supervising a Millennial. Take these into consideration and make them a part of your overall leadership persona, especially when dealing with the next generation.

The medium is the message: How many PowerPoint presentations have you sat through? Exactly. Try to keep things dynamic.  Be engaging and try to modify the means of communication for training, policies or memorandums. Have an HR policy change: Try making a YouTube video describing the change and send out a link via face book, twitter or email.

Keep it short: Think You-tube and Google. Try not to make any training or lessons longer than 10 minutes.  Get to the point and get it over with.  For example: No one wants to read an entire photography manual to take a few photos with their new camera, they want to find the information important to them to go take the photos.

Solicit input: Always ask to see if there is a different way of doing something and receive constructive criticism. Millenniums might have a better, faster or cheaper way of doing a task.  Give them the reigns.  Let them make up their own training videos or presentations, so that the message will suit the intended audience the best.

Message, outcomes or tasks must make sense: Millenniums must see worth in a task.  Busy work is definitely a “no-no” when working with the next generation.  Also, messages must be congruent and make sense from top to bottom. For example: Just think about BP and their environmental stance or the “Big Three” automakers flying their private jets to Washington with their hats in their hands.

Do not let technology become the master: Remember the old adage garbage-in and garbage-out. Do not let email, Facebook and other time-savers turn into time-wasters. If you have trouble with technology running your life, set a scheduled time to check e-mail once or twice a day or reply only to the important items.  Make tech work for you.

Overall, the ASTD seminar and luncheon was well worth the entry fee.  While there, I learned the ASTD Utah chapter was nationally recognized as one of the premier chapters in the country.  I could see why. The meeting went on without a hitch, the presentation was excellent and the information presented was current and poignant.

If you would like to attend the next meeting, all are welcomed. They meet the third Thursday once a month, plus have special events and trainings throughout the year.

For more info on either organization, please contact:

BizVision Headquarters
7050 Union Park Center, 6th Floor
Salt Lake City, UT 84047
Toll Free: (800) 811-0230
Phone: (801) 562-2252
Fax: (801) 562-1773

http://www.bizvision.com/

ASTD Utah Chapter

PO Box 271491

Salt lake City, Utah 84127-1491

Phone: 801-322-5709

http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/Utah/Pages/default.aspx

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Zack Thomas

Socrates said “It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”

Miami Dolphin middle linebacker Zach Thomas retired today. He was a self described “slow, too short guy from a small town in Texas.”  But he was great guy, loved to play football and all he needed was a chance.

What did he accomplish with that chance? He earned seven Pro Bowl selections; five times he made the All-pro first team. For ten seasons he led the Dolphin defense in tackles; he was the team MVP twice and won the team’s leadership award three times.

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald said, “It takes more than talent, to make you a thoroughly respected, admired and even beloved figure with fans. Thomas is all of that plus more.”

In the beginning, Thomas, who was drafted late in the fifth round out of Texas Tech, had anxiety about not making the team. It was partly the insecurities that made him the player he was.  He constantly had to “out work” and “out want” the other guys that were bigger, faster and more naturally gifted.

Thomas said in his retirement speech that he cherished every moment he played. Even when he was sore and tired he resisted the mentality of wishing that he wasn’t playing football.  He said “he kept reminding himself of the many people that would have gladly changed places with him.”

Congratulations and best wishes to Zach Thomas and his family.  Greg Cote said it best, “He was the little guy who could, the embodiment of the blue collar man who came to work with a lunch pale and a hammer and built himself a career on effort and sweat.”

Pundits are already saying that Zach Thomas may not make it into the NFL Football Hall of Fame. But in twelve outstanding years with the Dolphins (fourteen total in the NFL) he never once embarrassed the team. His record on and off the field was clean. He is a role model to thousands men, women, kids and to all who know him.

When he was asked about his future and the hall of fame, he laughed and said that he will pour his time and energy into being a better “family man, husband and father” and then pointed to his family.

In five years sportswriters will have a chance to select a great player, and a good man, Zach Thomas, into the Football Hall of Fame. Maybe, five years from now, a player who possesses character, integrity, honor and respectability as well as football talent may be welcomed into Canton.

Maybe not, maybe nothing will change, and we will still be talking about the same story we all know too well.

Your comments are always welcome.

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Dr. John Morgan

One of the best-kept secrets in the Great Salt Lake valley is the great lake itself.  Due to its relative seclusion, lack of fishermen and their associated powerboats, the lake is one of the best spots in all of Utah to sail.

I was invited by Capt. JR Reynolds to come enjoy the day, go for a sail on his new boat and witness how he teaches leadership and teamwork with his sailboat the “Nauti Girl.”

I am always interested in how people teach leadership.  It is a great learning experience to see how people teach with different types of platforms. Plus, it was an awesome day for sailing, mild temperatures, mostly sunny skies and light winds.

The marina is located about 15 miles west of downtown Salt Lake City. It is a short drive from the airport, downtown or Park City. Ten minutes is all it takes from the airport, or give yourself about 40 minutes if you are coming from the Park City area.

It is an easy, scenic drive. Simply take I-80 west to the Saltaire exit, go north and follow the signs to the marina.

There, you will find Capt. JR Reynolds, the “Nauti Girl,” and the Great Salt Lake Experience. Not to mention some of the best sailing in the valley.

Captain JR has over 30 years experience. He has been sailing on the Great Salt Lake since moving to Utah in 1990.  He is licensed with the State of Utah, and has certifications from several organizations including the Power Squadron.

His sailboat, the “Nauti Girl”, a Catalina 270, is the platform the GSLE uses for teambuilding, leadership, as well as the usual cruising, sail lessons, dinner and sunset tours.

Capt. Reynolds demonstrated how he teaches leadership and teambuilding while we were on the lake that day. Teamwork is fairly obvious to show aboard a sailboat as JR explained, “You can either work as a team and sail, or you’re dead in the water.”

Teams learn basic sailing skills while rotating through all the different shipboard roles in which they will have to give and take orders and rely on each other during different maneuvers and exercises.

JR showed me the four basic crew responsibilities on board: head sail management, main sail management, helmsman and lookout.  When you bring your clients or students, each of them will have the opportunity to experience all four positions and many opportunities to work both as a team and as the leader.

Captain Reynolds is available to take you and your party out on the Great Salt Lake for a 4-hour cruise, day-trips, sunset cruises and lessons.

Go to their website, you can find more information there. Here is the contact information:

Capt JR Reynolds

1.801.898.0270

1.866.SAILOR1

jr@ GreatSaltLakeExperience.org

http://greatsaltlakeexperience.org/home

I’ll cut strait to the chase the trip was all worth it. I can highly recommend the entire experience.  The sailing lesson, the experience and the leadership and teamwork lessons were all first rate.

If you are a coach, mentor, and teacher or just want to test or hone your leadership skills don’t hesitate to call JR and schedule a cruise.  Thanks JR for the trip; I hope to see you out soon.

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Old man and his donkey in Greece

I received one of those spam, junk, chain letter emails from a friend the other day. The sad thing, I opened it and read it. Even sadder, it got me thinking.

The saddest part of all, it actually hit home.

Well, what does the story have to do with leadership?

Everything and nothing. But, I made myself a promise to do more of both. I hope you do the same.

So, here is what I am going to do. At the end of the letter, I added a call to action. I am giving you two choices.

Read. Enjoy. Choose

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town.  The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, “What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.” So they then decided they’d both walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride.  So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone, you might as well…

Kiss your ass goodbye!

Have A Nice Day And
Be Careful With Your Donkey

So, here they are:

Choice 1: If you like the blog and the information contained in the website, please forward the e-mail you received to at lease two people. Not a hard task by any means.

Choice 2: If you do not like or enjoy the information you receive, go back to the original email and get off the email list. That’s right, an even simpler task, unsubscribe. You can’t please ‘em all, now can you?

Which one are you going to choose?

*Oh yeah, If you are the guy who wrote this pearl of wisdom or own the copy write, please don’t have your lawyer sue me. Just drop me a note or leave a comment. Don’t worry I’ll give you proper credit. Geese, it’s just spam anyway. And, by the way, thanks to the guy who sent it to me.

Love, Rick

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The NFL needs a real, visionary leader.  It needs a leader that will make decisions, solve problems and show the way. Someone that will get out front, motivate and inspire people to achieve tasks and goals they normally would not achieve.

Yes, the NFL has a conduct problem. Yes, this type of personal behavior modification is difficult.  But, leaders are not afraid of difficult challenges. They are not afraid of changing the mindset of a person, organization or an entire league.

Leaders pre-empt problems, and as you said Commissioner Goodell is reacting to a problem.  Let me come to the defense of Commissioner Goodell and the NFL and offer a simple solution.

There are several factors that make his job, and a fair and balanced solution extremely difficult. Because many athletes come from socio-economic, culturally disenfranchised neighborhoods. Often professional sports represent their only chance at economic success.

Sports executives and coaches are fearful of establishing standards that might seem to the under privileged sports fan, or to the political or social ideologue as too harsh, or restrictive.

However, behavioral problems start in High School or earlier.  When athletes begin to show their talent they are spoiled, cuddled and develop a false sense of entitlement and infallibility. If and when they get to College the situation may be worse.

Sports programs are about winning and college coaches and university administrators go to great lengths to protect their star players. Developing their character and integrity are taking a backseat to developing their 40-yard dash speed or their bench press.

Therefore, if drafting a quality person as well as an athletes is really the goal of professional sports, then standards of conduct and behavior must be established in order and before athletes qualify for the draft.

For instance

• Set a policy that players must qualify for the NFL draft.

For example: To qualify, college athletes must not have a criminal record, be drug free, and behavioral problem free for 3 years prior to the draft. If college players violate the rule they are restricted from the draft for 3 years.

The idea is to draft quality college players with character and integrity.

When college players understand that they must meet those standards to be drafted they will work hard to meet those standards, just like they work on speed, conditioning and strength drills.

• Troubled players, with criminal backgrounds or troubled pasts that fail to qualify for the draft, must then demonstrate a subsequent 3 year history of trouble free conduct before they qualify.

The goal would be to give athletes the opportunity to demonstrate that their behavior has improved and was now up to standards.

Promises that their behavior will improve will not meet standards.

For instance the NFL might say to a questionable player, go play in the Canadian Football League, demonstrate that you can stay drug and trouble free for 3 years and then you might qualify for the big time. In other words prove to us by your behavior, and your adherence to high standards that you deserve to be in the big league with other outstanding players.

• Active NFL players will and should have a comprehensive code of conduct with stringent penalties for non-compliance.

Whether they like it or not, these athletes are role models to young people, especially to those young people without a support system or role model at home, school or church.

It is also difficult for the average parent, teacher, coach or mentor to compete with a Porsche driving, “bling” wearing, partying, undisciplined, high profile athlete who seems to be on the top of the world when the rest of us are square.

By the way, lets watch the Tim Tebow story play out. The Denver Broncos drafted him in the first round. We should respect the young man for trying to live a life of high standards and good conduct. We should not make fun of him, nor attack him or his family and then wait with anticipation for him to fail in some way. Nor should we respond with glee if he does.

Dr. John Morgan

Roger Goodell’s NFL personal conduct policy was destined to fail from the beginning.  So far, 16 players have been suspended since he took over in 2006.  Here is the policy as it is written today.

“While criminal activity is clearly outside the scope of permissible conduct, and persons who engage in criminal activity will be subject to discipline, the standard of conduct for persons employed in the NFL is considerably higher. It is not enough simply to avoid being found guilty of a crime. Instead, as an employee of the NFL or a member club, you are held to a higher standard and expected to conduct yourself in a way that is responsible, promotes the values upon which the League is based, and is lawful.

Persons who fail to live up to this standard of conduct are guilty of conduct detrimental and subject to discipline, even where the conduct itself does not result in conviction of a crime.”

People will ask, how can it be a failure, he has suspended 16 players.  At face value, it seems like it is working.  It is a well thought-out, well-written and well-constructed policy.

Roger Goodell

But that is the problem with policy.  They all seem to be well written and are laden with good intentions.  The other problem is that people confuse these well-written management tools as leadership.

In reality, the NFL gives lip service to high “standards of conduct” and to conduct “that is responsible, promotes the values upon which the League is based.”  Oh yeah, “and is lawful.”

By the way, what are the NFL’s conduct policy’s core “values” based upon?  Are these written somewhere? Do the players, coaches, and owners have access to them? Or are they some floating, randomly assigned group of words and ideals chosen to fit the mood of the commissioner?

You cannot influence the hearts, minds and souls of people through policy making or through the implementation of rules.  Reprimanding; making new management policy; and punishment for mistakes already made is not leadership. They are knee jerk reactions to bad situations and not correcting the deficiencies or underlying problems.

Yes, I realize, these policies are good for bloggers and the punishment dished out makes great headlines and give the perception that the league is doing something.  But, what good is a policy when 99 percent of the players in the NFL followed it anyway?  And for the guys who don’t follow the rules, a new policy or threat of punishment means absolutely nothing.

There is no quick solution, but that is the problem.  Making policy and rules is an easy way out and a quick way to give the perception of action and attention to a problem.

But, it is not a fix. Fixing or mitigating the problem takes a vision and strength beyond what the NFL and Goodell are willing to do.

It takes a leader that has that vision and strength to do some unpopular things. It will take a leader who is willing to build for the future and elicit new action from the entire league.

That means, the leader (commissioner) must convince the coaches, owners and GM’s to be willing to change the face of the NFL.  They will need to look for players who have as much character as athletic ability.

Roger Goodell has to get the league and the owners to change the way they do business. The NFL has to have the courage not to draft and/or completely ban the bad apples in the first place. Then maybe, the message will be sent to the players and the country.

Only when the NFL is willing to pass on some of the best players because of conduct problems will people get the message that the NFL is serious about its image. Change the players and the conduct policy will no longer be needed.

The good news is it looks like the tide is turning.  This year in the NFL draft, character and leadership were looked at equally as athletic ability.

Do you have a personal conduct policy?