Recently I had the privilege to present at the 2^nd Annual Youth Empowerment Mini Summit of the National Achievers Society, South Florida Center of Excellence, at Florida International University. The workshops were designed to empower youth and parents to become self advocates for leadership, accountability and good practices.

The Miami Achievers Parents Association is the support group for the National Achievers Society, which is a pre-college honors program for minority students with high academic performance and background. The purpose is to encourage students to excel both academically and culturally while offering an alternative to athletic rewards.

Among the parents responsibilities are to attend monthly meetings, attend all organized meetings, encourage students to attend tutoring sessions, and to volunteer their particular skills to the parent association.

The topic of my presentation was entitled, The Warrior’s Mentality for Success, and was presented in three different sessions to students four through six grades, seven through nine and ten through twelve grades.

Below is a very brief summary of the lesson of the Warrior. The complete lesson was taken from Rick Morgan’s book, The Youth Sports Leadership Development Manual.   The complete manual is available for sale on this website and on Amazon.

Summary

You must seek, acquire and develop singularity of purpose and clarity of vision.

As a teacher, parent, coach or mentor your greatest challenge is to help develop the students’ singularity of purpose and clarity of vision.

In order to have a Warrior’s Mentality students must develop the need, the will and the commitment to achieve their vision or purpose.

Four aspects comprise the attitude of a Warrior.

The four are: vision or purpose, the need, the will, and the commitment.

Competition has the potential to make you stronger or weaker. The choice is yours to make.

In order to succeed in life, it is necessary for you to learn to be focused, determined and to never give up in the face of adversity.

These characteristics are what make you a Warrior!!!

These qualities lead to success.

I would like to thank the Miami Achievers Parent Association of the National Achievers Society for giving me the opportunity to present to the students at this important event. The students enthusiastically embraced the Warrior’s Mentality for Success and were professional, cooperative and enthusiastic in their response.

A special THANK YOU to Ms. Lauris Paige, President of the Miami Achievers Parent Association and to the support personal for their hospitality and graciousness and for their devotion and dedication in planning and directing this important event,

Congratulations for a job well done.

Dr. John Morgan

Recently I attended a seminar on Stopping Sports Injuries by Gautam P. Yagnik, M.D. Dr. Yagnik is the team physician for the NHL Miami Panther’s hockey team, and is Clinical Associate Professor of Orthopedic surgery at Florida International University.

The seminar was conducted at West Kendall Baptist Hospital, in Miami Florida, a state of the art new hospital specializing in sports injuries, advanced treatment and injury prevention.

Dr. Yagnik lectured and passed out documents informing the audience that:

30 million children and teenager’s participate in sports each year. Adult participation is almost as high. However, 3.5 million children under 14 years of age are injured each year and two million high school students are injured each year.

Football leads all sports in injuries and in 2007, 920,000 athletes under 18 were treated in emergency rooms. Injuries result from a combination of high speed body movement and full body contact at high speeds.

Basketball no longer resembles the game introduced in 1881. Today’s modern day game pace results in an estimated more than 1.6 million injuries each year.

Softball injuries among young athletes are on the rise. These injuries commonly involve the back, shoulder, forearm, wrist, and hand.

Soccer is the fastest growing team sport in America. Injuries to the lower extremities are most common due to kicks to the leg, twisting movement and/or muscle, tendon or bone injury.

Baseball injuries in young athletes are on the rise also and elbow and shoulder injuries in children are on the verge of becoming epidemic.

Be alert to the number of pitches thrown in games, insure that young athletes get rest periods between games and do not teach complicated pitches until age appropriate.

To prevent sports injuries Dr. Yagnik recommends:

Have a pre-season medical exam, health and wellness evaluation.

Be sure the athlete warms up properly, dresses weather appropriate and cools down. Pay attention to the environment, cold or hot. Hydrate adequately.

Include strength and flexibility training in the specific sports program. Maintain proper fitness for sport.

Use the 10% rule to determine rate of work increase. No more than 10% increase in mileage, weight, or demands per week. Not more than 10% increase in work.

Avoid overuse injuries. During the year take a season off between sports for rest and recovery. Do not over train.  More is not always better. Be alert to burn out.

After a period of inactivity, progress gradually back into full practice or play.

If discomfort or pain develops, discontinue play and tell a coach, athletic trainer, or parent. Teach young athletes to listen to their bodies and listen to their pain and not to ignore pain or play through pain.

Equipment should fit properly and be maintained.

Mix training protocols and fitness activities as appropriate to the sport. Cross train, and work different muscle groups to maintain balance in body strength and flexibility.

If injured remember the RICE acronym: R=rest, I= Ice, C= compression, E= elevate.

After injury return to practice or play only after clearance by a heath care professional.

Comments:  Great job by Dr. Yagnik. His style is easy going and enthusiastic. He is a gifted speaker and the audience was captivated by his presentation. The information he provided, if applied, will save your young athlete from many unnecessary and avoidable sports injuries.

Parents, I suggest that you be especially careful of your child’s health especially if your child plays in park athletic leagues, little leagues or in a sports environment where parents, teenagers or untrained individuals coach your young athlete.

Untrained individuals seem to think more is better, and toughness, ala legendary NFL Coach Vince Lombardi is necessary. Sports should be fun, and entertaining. Winning is important but too much emphasis on winning, in fun programs should be avoided or reduced.

Use sport to teach leadership, cooperation and personal skills. Teach integrity, character, truthfulness, and sportsmanship. Teach young athletes to win gracefully. Teach that losing often times makes you better and stronger if you learn from your mistakes and move yourself to corrective action.

Teach lessons in sports that are transferable to school, social activities, studies and to life’s later challenges.

Teach young athletes to attack their goals like a Warrior with power, strength and courage.  Show them how to develop the need to succeed; how to develop specific and clear goals; teach them to develop a strong will to persevere in the face of challenge and adversity; show them how to develop a commitment to move to action and to learn to attack their goals with intensity; teach them to NEVER GIVE UP.

Teach them to love, honor, care for and respect their bodies and to strive to improve their mental strength, spiritual toughness and overall health and well being.

Thank you Dr. Yagnik for a very informative seminar.

GREAT JOB!

As usual your comments are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan, LPI

Dr. Gautam P. Yagnik may be reached at West Kendall Baptist Hospital, Medical Arts Building, 15955 SW 96 Street, Suite 201, Miami, Florida, 33196. Telephone 786 268 6200

BaptistHealth.net/orthopedicsuhzsmi.com.

www.uhzsmi.com

As part of the LPI’s continued commitment to provide you with up to date leadership strategies and effective parenting skills, I attended a seminar at Miami’s Baptist Hospital conducted by Richard P. Toister, PhD. Dr. Toister is a respected and renowned psychologists in the South Florida community and the author of the book, Clouds and Butterflies: Coping for Kids, available at www.amazon.com

Dr. Toister emphasized that parenting is based on love and relationships. He said that parents must act as leaders and in terms of leadership the mother is on the front line, followed by the dad. In today’s society stress is a big factor in children’s lives and in general, kids have gained a lot more power because parents are competing with a lot of different and conflicting influences.

He reminded parents that all your child’s behavior, whether good or bad, is designed to get your attention.  He said that parents can control the child’s environment but they cannot control a child’s “normal behavioral temperament.” That comes from the gene pool and that genes affect 40 to 50% of a child’s behavior, he added.

Dr. Toister explained that children are born with certain temperament clusters, which he described as:

The “easy” child, which comprises 40%

The “slow to warm up” child: 15%

The “difficult” child: 10%.

Notice these percentages do not add up to 100% because children usually have more than one temperament cluster.

One of the Child Management Strategies that Dr. Toister outlined is the proper use of TIME OUTS. These reprimands should be age and misbehavior appropriate and a good standard is one minute per child’s age. An example is, two minutes for a two-year old child, three minutes for a three-year old child, etc.

The important issue to remember is that after the completion of the time out period the correct or appropriate behavior should be taught, practiced and re-enforced before the child is allowed back into the home, school or play environment.

To improve compliance with family rules or standards the child should repeat out loud the behavior expected. Should the child not understand or be unwilling to comply the parent should calmly but firmly (but definitely not harshly) repeat the behavior expected until understanding and compliance is achieved. The parents should encourage and praise compliance but not discuss or negotiate with the child until compliance is achieved.

Similar to what we teach at the LPI, Dr. Toister stated that parents must role model the behavior they desire. Children begin to imitate their parents early and the sooner parents understand that their behavior is being watched closely and copied…the better.

Parents must keep cool. Speak softly. Be patient and persistent and lead the child to successful conclusion.

Please, download the six guides and a test to help determine your child’s personality type and determine if your parenting style is appropriate and effectively matched to your child’s.

We highly recommend downloading the files. He covered a wealth of information in his discussion too lengthy for inclusion here.  As a service, we have provided the information for you here as downloads for free.

Dr. Toister’s handouts are attached at the end of this article.

COMMENTS: Quote From Rick Morgan’s Book, The Youth Sports Leadership Development Manual: (available at www.amazon.com or at www.TheLPI.Com)

“To become a leader, you should role model leadership characteristics to your students or family. Walk the walk, show the way, get out front, go and do, and do it with enthusiasm. Your goal is to have your students want to be just like you, somebody special. Teaching the students leadership principles becomes a whole lot easier when you role model leadership qualities in your daily life.”

“The most powerful lessons your children/students learn are the ones they learn from watching you. Therefore, lead by example. Leadership is being out front, showing the way, teaching others. Live the principles you teach. Set high standards and be certain that you meet the standards you set. When setting standards for your children/students, be certain that you have a plan in place to help your children/students meet those standards. Your job is always to help your children/students meet the standards you set for them.”

THANK YOU DR.TOISTER for a spirited and fun seminar. The parents in attendance enthusiastically embraced your message and I am sure will benefit from your presentation.

Dr.Toister may be reached at:

7400 N. Kendall Drive, Suite 212

Miami, Florida, 33156

305 670 9737

Don’t forget leave a comment and tell us what you think.

If you liked this post sign up for the newsletter or RSS feed below so you don’t miss out.

Dr. John Morgan, LPI.

Effective Parent Handouts

Urban wants you

Last week, I was fortunate to have early east coast wake up. Stuck in a hotel room on the east coast, I woke up a little early, made a cup of coffee and turned on ESPN. The Mike and Mike Show was on. The show is sports talk radio program that is filmed for TV.

As I watched, Urban Meyer, the two-time Nation Championship winning, University of Florida, football coach walked out, sat down and discussed why he quit coaching and pay for play in NCAA football.

If you don’t remember, Coach Meyer just retired from the Univ. of Florida last year because of burnout.

A few weeks ago we wrote about how some of the NFL coaches sons have lost their way.  Listen carefully to the interview.  In the first three minutes, he talks a about how hard he worked, what he and his family sacrificed and how it effected his children.

He then talks about college football and money, and the problems faced by the NCAA of the mixing them together.

Yes, I know there is burnout in all fields and professions.  I’m sure this problem is not limited to just coaching and sports.  I am just providing you with another story that exemplifies the need for balance on and off the field, classroom or home.

If you don’t know, he is now an analyst for ESPN and probably working just as hard.

I posted this a few places, one is on this email, on this page and another is on the original “Coaches” post as a comment.

Here is a link to the radio interview:
http://espn.go.com/espnradio/player?rd=1#/podcenter/?id=6180510&callsign=ESPNRADIO&autoplay=1

Here is a link to the Mike and Mike Show on ESPN:
http://espn.go.com/new-york/radio/show?showId=mikeandmike

Don’t forget leave a comment and tell us what you think.
If you liked this post sign up for the RSS feed below so you don’t miss out.

Tonight, the 2011 NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament ends in Houston, TX.   Either the U Conn. Huskies or the Butler Bulldogs will be crowned the champions after the game.  I hope at least somebody is still alive in the office pool, but I guessing most of you are not.

As the season closes, I thought I would share a video about how the head coach of the Marquette Golden Eagles runs his program.  Coach Buzz Williams took his team to the sweet sixteen and has just been granted a contract extension.  In a time of scandals and suspensions Coach Buzz takes it upon himself to build not only a great basketball team but to build great men of character.

In this video Coach Williams brings in the players in for the first meeting of the season.  In the meeting he introduces himself to the new and returning players, sets the tone for the up-coming season with high expectations, and shares one of “Buzz’s life lessons.”  Coach Williams teaches about how character is the glue that holds both the team and the individual together when the going gets tough both on and off the basketball court.

Don’t forget leave a comment and tell us what you think.

If you liked this post sign up for the newsletter or RSS feed below so you don’t miss out.

Coach Green

Thomas George a national columnist for www.FanHouse.com writes about what every NFL coach (everyday career oriented parent) ponders.  That is if his dual role as a parent and coach is being balanced.

George writes, “Joe Gibbs has spoken often about this. About how his tenure as Washington Redskins coach beginning in the 1980s and how he sacrificed his relationships with his sons J.D. and Coy. Gibbs jumped into racing with both and even back into coaching just to assist Coy in gaining his requested taste of the profession. Gibbs has said that the rest of his life will be spent making up for time lost with his sons.”

About Andy Reid George says, “the Philadelphia Eagles‘ coach, in 2007 confronted the harsh reality of a coach pried from his sons when Garrett and Britt were both charged in automobile and drug incidents that resulted in both behind bars. Reid took time away from the Eagles to help heal his sons’ and his family’s scars. He said the experience helped him to see the merit in giving quarterback Michael Vick a second chance.”

But there is more trouble, George continues, “And there is the 2005 tragic story of Tony Dungy‘s son, Jamie, who at age 18 committed suicide. Dungy has used his faith to seek understanding and acceptance in such a loss where often little of either can be found.

On Thursday, former NFL coach Denny Green celebrates his 62 birthday. This former Minnesota Vikings and Arizona Cardinals coach who currently guides the UFL’s Sacramento Mountain Lions will do so with a heavy heart. His son, Jeremy, pleaded guilty last week to one count of possession of child pornography. He is expected to receive a 20-year prison term, suspended after five years, followed by 10 years’ probation.”

George quotes Coach Green as saying “You can take a wrong turn in life, you can lose your way. This is what happened. He’s 39 years old. He had a lot of things go the right way for him. But he lost his way.’”

George reports that, “NFL Coaches’ Mike Shanahan and Lovie Smith and many others – employ their sons on their coaching staffs, as a way to provide them with peace. A way to fulfill their sons’ coaching itch. A way to master the challenge of coach/dad. Many call it nepotism.”
“Those involved call it a dad’s duty.”

My Comments: Certainly the stories of these famous football coach’s and their family troubles are heart wrenching. Should we ask, are these issues solely the sins of the son? Not having all the information we should not judge but simply be alert that pride and ambition, have the potential to dominate life in a manner that balance or stability in other aspects of life is often lost. While I am not suggesting that this occurred to these coaches sadly this does occur in life.

Every day we read or hear about sixty or seventy-year-old executives saying they are retiring to spend more time with the family. Do you think family members or grown children have a right to ask, “Where were you when we were growing up and needed you?”

You decide.

Years ago a young athlete told me that he had played in over 100 baseball games and that his father, a famous attorney, had never come to see him play. When I suggested that he “cut his dad some slack,” his response was neither repeatable nor printable. Sadly the father does not know how he failed his son.

Read the whole article here:

http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2011/02/15/denny-green-loves-his-son-despite-troubles/

Please utilize these tragic stories as a time for reflection.

As usual your thoughtful comments are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan

Recently I attended a seminar on bullying conducted by the Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention and Treatment through literacy. The Melissa Institute’s mission is to educate, serve, research and consult to improve school safety. According to their research, a major predictor of violence is related to literacy. Up to 80% of juvenile offenders are functionally illiterate. However, when a child can read by grade level three, he or she rarely gets into trouble with the law. Thus, the Melissa Institute embarked on a major campaign to bring proven and innovative teaching methods to elementary classrooms, administrators and teachers.

The Melissa Institute is named and established by the Aptman Family in memory of Melissa Aptman who was the victim of a preventable tragedy, a carjacking with fatal consequences.

The speaker at the seminar was Trish Ramsey, M.A., Educational Director. The following is a summation of Ms. Ramsey’s presentation and is based on the research by The Melissa Institute.

DEFINITION: Bullying is a relationship problem in which power and aggression are used to cause distress to a vulnerable person. It is negative physical or verbal abuse with hostile intent. It causes distress to victims and when repeated over time creates subordination between bully and the victim.  Bullies prey on others that cannot or will not defend themselves. Bullying tends to peak during middle schools, especially the first year of transition to a larger school (grades 5 through 8 )

TYPES of BULLYING:

Direct (Face to Face)

• Verbal
• Physical
• Psychological

Indirect (relationship aggression or social bullying)

• Gossiping
• Social Aggression
• Leaving out or exclusion

Cyber-Bullying (use of electric technology)

• Emails or internet messages
• Websites that ridicule others
• Sharing unflattering pictures and posting them on the net
• Stealing passwords and sending messages to others
• Tricking someone to share personal information then forwarding others
• Using cell phones to send derogatory, threatening or harassing messages.

*For more info see the following sites on Cyber-Bullying.

www.isafe.org

www.cyberbully.org

The proportion of children who use physical abuse decreases with age. The number of children who use verbal and indirect forms of aggression increases during childhood and early adolescence.                 

BULLYING CHARACTERISTICS DIFFER BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS:

Boys generally are more aggressive than females. Boys have been found to bully 5.2 episodes per hour and girls at a rate of 2.7 episodes hourly.

Boys are more likely to physically fight but 24% of girls reported they had a physical fight the previous year.

Boys are more likely to be physically bullied while girls are more likely to be verbally and/or psychologically bullied.

Girls tend to use indirect aggression involving hostile acts of gossiping, manipulation and isolation.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

On elementary school grounds students are involved in bullying every 7 minutes.

Bullying tends to peak during the first year of middle school. It generally decreases with age.

Bullying increases when students make transition to middle school and high school where the issue of establishing social status is important.

It is estimated that 15%to 20% of students will encounter bulling.

Parents are generally unaware of bullying and victimization problems.

There are long-term applications to bullying to include:

• Childhood bullying can lead to sexual harassment, aggression in dating, spousal abuse,

parenting issues (children of bully’s often bully)

• Two- thirds of school shooters felt bullied, harassed or threatened by fellow students

and in some cases instructors.

CHARACTERISTICS OF VICTIMS:

Students who are victimized by others tend to be: cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn, shy, anxious, insecure, unhappy and have low self-esteem.

Gay, lesbian, and trans-gender students are often victimized.

SIGNS OF BULLYING:

Losing objects without explanation, unexplained cuts bruises scratches, torn or dirty clothing, needs extra money, need extra treats in school lunch box, hungry after lunch when lunch is extorted, reluctance to go to school, loss of interest in school, headaches, stomach aches, difficulty sleeping, significant change in mood, has few friends.

PARENTS YOU MUST BE INVOLVED:

• Discuss school rules.
• Set appropriate rules at home.
• LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD!
• Know what is going on at your child’s school. Keep a calendar of events.
• Set up a daily time to check in with your child.
• Be involved in your child’s school life.
• Encourage your child to take part in school and community activities.
• Attend school functions and parent conferences.
• Volunteer at school.
• Make a commitment to remain in touch with your child’s teacher, principal, coach and school administrators.
• Be a partner in the education of your child. Your involvement is critical.

HOW CAN YOUR STUDENT HELP STOP BULLYING:

• Recognize when bullying takes place.
• Talk to the student who is bullying. Label the behavior as bullying and tell the student to stop.
• Stand up to the bully.
• Be an ally to the person being bullied.
• Invite the person being bullied into your group.
• BELIEVE THAT TELLING AN ADULT IS NOT A FORM OF TATTLING OR RATTING. TELLING IS REPORTING TO GET SOMEONE OUT OF TROUBLE. IT IS NOT THE SAME AS TATTLING OR RATTING WHICH IS DESIGNED TO GET SOMEONE INTO TROUBLE.

COMMENTS: The Melissa Institute is doing exceptionally important work. Parents your responsibility is to be involved in your child’s life and understand the complicated and sophisticated world of your child. At the LPI we teach you to lead. Well then, be out front of this important issue. Remember leaders influence other people, their actions, or outcomes. Leaders direct positive change, solve problems, and achieve goals. Leaders act as guides.

To quote from LPI founder Rick Morgan’s book, The Youth Sports Leadership Development Manual,

“Become an educational leader, bonding, leading and inspiring your students, not an average parent waiting for the education system to do its job for you.”

“Being a leader and a role model and bonding with your student, is an excellent way to teach your student character traits that will last a lifetime. Get to work.”

Parents, teachers, coaches and mentors become role models, and leaders. Teach your students’ the proper character traits and leadership skills and role model these traits and skills at home and school. Be the type of person, a hero, that your child or student wants to emulate. You do not want your child be a bully (read coward) or to be bullied.

Kudos to Ms. Ramsey for an excellent presentation and to the Melissa Institute for their important work.

As usual your thoughtful comments are encouraged either here at the blog or on the forum.

Dr. John Morgan

The Melissa Institute Contact Information:

Please make donations to THE MELISSA INSTITUTE, 6250 Sunset Drive, Suite 204, Miami, Florida, 33143.

Email: info@MelissaInstitute.org

Websites: www.melissaInstitute.org

www.Teachasafeschool.org

Other information: Ms. Trish Ramsey, MA, Educational Director. Telephone: 786-662-5210, Fax: 786-662-5211.

Recently I attended a seminar on Internet Safety and Your Child, presented by Sergeant Joseph Bermudez, Miami Dade Police Department, Supervisor, Crime Prevention Squad. Sergeant Bermudez formerly served in the US Army and is an 18 year veteran of the police department.

Sergeant Bermudez is a personable and dynamic speaker and presented the material in a non-technical manner to help unsophisticated adults understand the dangers of the Internet. This presentation was for parents only, although he does provide workshops for students.

Sergeant Bermudez said that the Internet can be a “valuable tool for your child and student and it has many benefits.”  As most people know, you child may utilize: search engines, Web sites, Chat Rooms, E-Mail, News groups, forums, bulletin boards, and instant messaging to quickly gain access to information they may need. The Internet can be a valuable tool to help students explore interests, meet other people and share information at their fingertips.

But the Internet can also be dangerous! Your student may encounter: sexual material, sexual predators, alcohol and drug sales, gambling sites, bullying, violence, hate and intolerance directed at them and others.

Sergeant Bermudez said that these dangers are prevalent on the Internet because:

• There is anonymity on the net — Both sides are not identified.
• Kids feel safe. It is easy to initiate contact. Kids believe they are chatting with other kids.
• Predators have a vast number of children as potential victims. (The Internet has billions of users.)
• Predators are sophisticated and smart. It is easy to gather information from and about your youth.
• It is easy to lure and victimize your kid through common interests.
• The Internet is free.

Sergeant Bermudez listed the profile of a “perfect victim” for predators.

Please read the list carefully. Determine the number of risk factors your child may possess.

The top risk factors are:

• Age 11 to 14.
• Little or no parent involvement or supervision.
• No definite bed time. The child is on the Internet frequently after hours.
• No family rules. Parent can be away from home leaving a child without accountability or supervision.
• Student has exclusive use of a computer in private setting.

Predators use a calculated process

Make no mistakes about it sexual predators are smart and sophisticated in their luring practices. If your child is unaware of the process they are potential prey. Predators go through a calculated process to lure your sons and daughters.

Predators start with a “Grooming process.” This is a systematic process to flirt, be cute and lurk. The purpose is to gain an opportunity to send porn and watch for the child’s reaction. If this first step is taken without strong objection the next step is to move the student to a private chat room. When alone in the chat room a deliberate process of information gathering is started mixed with pictures or subtle discussion of explicit sexual material.

The next step is “repeated contact.” Effort is made to get the child’s telephone number or personal contact information. Contact then becomes sexually explicit. From this point forward a strong effort is made to contact the child and establish control over the minor.

Step Three: The predator attempts to arrange a meeting in a place that appears public but is not. (a mall parking lot, a public park, a library, etc.) The predator attempts to play on the child’s weakness, and make the child feel comfortable. The victim is lead to believe that the meeting is private, safe and confidential but the intent of the predator is sexual battery.

Not a pretty scenario is it!

Parental Supervision is the key!

Parents must “parent.” Be there for your children. Share your values, set rules and standards and have open discussions. Teach your kids to look critically at their own Internet activity and to use a keen eye for their safety and protection. Establish time limits. You can justify limits by the any means necessary. Try to get your kids to stop using the phrase, “It doesn’t matter.” Everything matters. This matters.

Follow the following safety tips.

Place your child’s computer in a central location in the home. Learn about the people who (and why) your children maybe communicating with. Become familiar with search engines, browsers and software used by your kids. Know how to review search history and when and where history was deleted.

Do not rely on a system, software or other people to filter information your child sees or comes into contact with. Be proactive when protecting your kids. Advise your children that if they are sexually solicited to tell you, and you promise not to freak out. Then don’t freak out.

Be aware of computer restrictions or lack thereof at other locations: school, library, friend’s homes, cell phones, I-Pods, etc. If your son or daughter says parents will be at their friend’s home…check. Go over. Yes it is alright.

LOOK FOR WARNING SIGNS LIKE A CHANGE IN YOUR STUDENT’S BEHAVIOR.

Your student’s personal security and safety is a MUST.

Tell your child never to:

• Give our personal information over the Internet. Never arrange personal meetings, especially alone.
• Never respond to offensive or explicit sexual messages.
• Teach them to report any message that is sexual or harassing in nature.

Suggestions for parents, teachers, and mentors.

Use parental controls on all software, computers and browsers.  Set up bookmarks. Review your student’s history or logs. Search beyond his home page. Check their use of public computers. Use computers together with your child.

To start:

Learn the Top 20 Internet acronyms every parent needs to know. They are listed below for your convenience. To you, your child may be communicating in a new and foreign language, it is necessary to learn the language if you are to monitor their behavior. You might be shocked to learn what some of the acronyms mean.

Top 20 Internet Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know:

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PIR – Parent In Room

P911 –Parent Alert

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PAL – Parents Are Listening

ASL – Age/Sex/Location

MorF –Male or Female

SorG – Straight or Gay

LMIRL – Lets Meet in Real Life

KPC – Keeping Parents Clueless

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

IWSN – I Want Sex Now
NIFOC – Nude In Front Of Computer
GYPO – Get Your Pants Off
ADR or addy — Address

WYCM – Will You Call Me
KFY – Kiss For You
MOOS –Member(s) Of the Opposite Sex

MOSS or MOTSS – Member(s) Of the Same Sex

NALOPKT – Not A Lot Of People Know That

Teen-Favored Acronyms:

A/S/L – Age, Sex, Location

BF/GF – Boyfriend, Girlfriend

BRB – Be Right Back

CD9—Code 9, means parents around

GNOC – Get Naked on Cam (Webcam)

G2G – Got to go

IDK – I Don’t Know

(L)MIRL – (Lets) Meet in Real Life

LOL – Laugh out Loud

MorF –Male or Female

MOS – Mom Over Shoulder

NIFOC — Nude In Front Of Computer

NooB – Often an insult to somebody who doesn’t know much about something

NMU – Not Much, You?

P911 – Parent Emergency

PAW—Parents Are Watching

PIR – Parent In Room

POS – Parent Over Shoulder

PRON – Porn

PRW – Parents are watching

S2R – Send to receive (pictures)

TDTM – Talk Dirty To Me

Warez – Pirated software

W/E — Whatever

Read the following Internet Safety Resource list provided by the Miami-Dade Police Department Crime Prevention Squad. The web sites for Data mining are an asset to determine the locations on the internet your student visits.

Internet Safety Hardware is designed to limit your student’s access to certain web sites. Remember however that your kids probably have access to many other computers and cell phones.

Websites for Online Safety

• www.netsmartz.org
• www.isafe.org
• www.necmec.org
• www.cybertipline.com
• www.bytecrime.org
• www.childrenseducationalnetwork.com

Websites for Data Mining

• www.google.com
• www.ask.com
• www.yahoo.com
• www.msn.com
• www.alltheweb.com
• www.facebook.com
• www.myspace.com

Internet Safety Software

• Spector Pro
• Netnanny
• CYBERsitter
• CyberPatrol
• Cyber Snoop
• Cyber Sentinel
• SafeKeeper
• Child Safe

Cyber Crimes Toll-Free Tip Line

1800-843-5678

Contact Information: Sergeant Joseph Bermudez — Miami-Dade Police Department—Community and Intergovernmental Affairs Bureau Crime Prevention Squad –9105 NW 25^th Street, Rm 1044 Doral, FL 33172 – 305-471-1745

Email: JBermudez@mdpd.com

The service provided by Sergeant Bermudez is must see material by every parent. My experience is that the Internet is a cesspool of miss-information, half truths and downright lies. I ask you, how many emails do you check to determine if the information you receive is accurate or factual.  I verify my e-mails and almost 80% of forwarded e-mail I receive are not true, nor accurate, nor useful. In fact most are garbage and a waste of time.

I use www.Snopes.com, www.TruthorFiction.com and www.FactCheck.com to verify the information in the emails I receive. You might try these yourself before you forward mail.

The Internet can be an exiting tool to help your child achieve but it can also be is a dangerous place for our kids. Sergeant Bermudez has taught us how dangerous it can be and what can be done to protect our kids.

Parents your job is to parent. This means to lead, be out front, pre-empting problems and issues. Parents are the CEO’s of the family. Do everything you can to protect and defend your kids. If necessary prohibit your kid from the internet for a period of time. This will get their attention and show them that you mean business.

Please do not mistake being a “nice parent” for being an “effective parent.

Take the necessary hard steps to protect your child.

Be a Parent!

Your thoughtful comments as usual are appreciated.

Dr. John Morgan

Vote for us right here on the blog…

Summer is officially here. It’s graduation time once again.  My niece just graduated last week and is on her way to college. We could not be prouder.

Next year she will be a freshman and before you know it, she will be off into the world.  This blog is for her.  Well, actually it is for everyone. Some of us need this advice more than others.

I woke up early Sunday morning, and as always watched the CBS Sunday Morning news show.  For some reason, they always have feel good news. I am not a news junky, so I may be behind on this one. Please, let me know if this is their program format. So, today was no different.

This is Ben Steins’ June 13, 2010, commentary to the graduating classes.  I thought everyone would benefit from Ben and his shrink’s advice.  Thanks, Ben. Congratulations, Carla.

Watch it now, here.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/13/sunday/main6577542.shtml

Don’t forget leave a comment and tell us what you think.

If you liked this post sign up for the RSS feed below so you don’t miss out.